I've been wanting to write about my assessment of 2017 and intentions for 2018, but have found myself stopped many times. 2017 was a pivotal year and one that that I will look back on with great appreciation. So why have I been stopped? Ultimately, I think I've intimidated myself (if that's possible).
I remember beginning 2017 frustrated and tired of myself. I was tired of dreaming and not doing. I had always had big dreams for myself, but held back in so many ways. The voice inside my head would say "that's a nice dream, but you'll never do it", or "what if you fail or get stuck?" But something shifted in me, and I ignored that voice and chose Action for my word and intention for the year.
I had always enjoyed doing yoga but never wanted to commit to paying a monthly fee (I thought I'd be missing out on something else in life by giving up that money). On January 14th, I ignored my doubt and joined CorePower Yoga. And all I did was start. I didn't set out with any resolutions to be more active or any goals for attending a certain number of classes; I just started. It was clear from the very beginning that yoga would play a bigger part in my year - I just wasn't clear on how big it would be.
Yoga set the tone for my year. Once I started, it was as if I jumped on a wave and other actions in several areas of my life began to take motion. I started marking classes as I took them and documented other events and actions. As the year progressed, I would look at my calendar and smile at my achievements. Through everything I did, Action was at the forefront of my mind. I found myself saying "Yes" to more things and taking more chances.
Here are some of my proudest actions:
- Joined CorePower Yoga
- Participated in several programs through Landmark Worldwide (Landmark Forum in Review, 10 session Integrity seminar, 5 month Self-Expression & Leadership Program)
- Attended Chris Guillebeau's Side Hustle Workshop in Austin, TX and launched Wandering Aunt as a result :)
- Cleaned out my closet - rid myself of 160 items of clothing and 32 pairs of shoes!
- Reconnected and deepened relationships in my life
- Got my first and second tattoo
- Saw Hamilton in Chicago
- Traveled all over the country and world (Jamaica, Guatemala, Scotland and many U.S. states)
- Pressed through my fear of being under deep water and got my PADI Diving Certification
- Attended Ashlie Wood's life-changing Wildhearted Retreat on Lake Atitlán in Guatemala
- Hiked 13 miles roundtrip up a volcano
- Got Invisalign (something I had been putting off for years)
- Photographed my nephew being born
- Took a whirlwind trip to Chicago that included 4 flights and 3 yoga classes all within a day
- Completed a 200-hour Yoga Teacher Training Certification through CorePower Yoga
- Conquered 202 Yoga classes
- Moved into my first solo apartment!
Through these actions I began to discover and reconnect with myself. It was not an easy year by any means. I faced many challenges, hurdles, and setbacks. I pushed myself to be vulnerable with myself and many in my life, and connect in ways I never imagined. I found the true meaning behind loving myself and slowly began to shed layers that I had been hiding beneath for far too long. I forced myself to uncover areas in my life where I'd been holding back and began taking steps towards healing. I shed many tears and discovered many hard truths. And all of this has only made me stronger.
So why am I intimidated by 2018? I took so many actions, and pushed myself in more ways than I had ever thought possible. Rather than being excited for the new year, I found myself in a low place. How could I top everything I did in 2017? But as my sister gently reminded me, it's not about topping last year, but rather building on it. I am still learning and discovering a lot from 2017. And I still find myself having many breakdowns, but I keep taking steps forward. So for 2018, I will continue to build on all that I did in 2017 and step into the year with my word/intention of Bold Freedom.
Watch out, 2018. I'm just getting started.