From Stella to Starlight


In 2010, I made the biggest purchase I had ever made on my own. I bought my first brand new car. It was a 2010 Honda Accord EX-L V6. Light gray. And all mine. I had no credit built up at the time, so Honda extended a student qualification offer to me (even though I had been out of college for 3.5 years). I felt so proud to have a new car. Six months after purchasing my car, I made a big move from Nashville, TN to Dallas, TX. 

Shortly after moving to Dallas, I got in a terrible car accident. I got hit on my driver's side at a busy intersection with 4 lanes of oncoming traffic at rush hour. To this day I consider it a miracle that only myself and one other driver were involved in the accident. My car spun several times and stopped in the middle of a bridge. My airbags deployed and I couldn't open my driver's side door. I managed to get out of the passenger door and walk around to find what looked like a crumpled up piece of paper on the driver's side. My car was totaled and I walked away from that accident without a scratch.

That car saved my life.

I went out and bought the same exact model only a newer year and color. I chose a beautiful pearl white and named her Stella. Stella felt like luxury to me. I vowed to protect her and not put myself in harm's way again. For 7 years, Stella was my constant companion and with me for some of my favorite things to do--travel and listen to music. She saw me through good times and hard times. She was with me when I made the long and emotionally draining 10-hour drive by myself to Tennessee for my beloved grandmother's funeral. She was an escape for me when I needed some alone time, and really served as a refuge and a place of happiness for me. And she upheld her end of the bargain and kept me safe. 

Today I handed my keys to Stella over to a new owner. When I started my nomadic journey in May, I gave up a job of 11 years, my apartment and furniture. I chose to not let go of Stella at the time because I wanted to test the waters and see how I liked nomad life. It was clear early on in Thailand that in order to stay committed to my intention of Freedom and Flexibility, I needed to let her go to make space for new opportunities to come. 

Often times in life we know what we need to do; we're just scared to take the actual step to move forward.

Letting go or saying goodbye isn't easy, yet by doing so we're clearing space for bigger things to come. I've found myself attached to many things in my life--comfort, safety, struggle. It's easier to stay where it's comfortable and safe. Why would you want to leave somewhere that feels so warm and cozy and like home? When I finally got that I was playing it safe in many areas of life, I knew that in order to change, I had to step out of my comfort zone and into the unknown—embody my 2018 intention of Bold Freedom. By doing so, I've allowed for more beautiful opportunities, people, and experiences to enter my life. 

I have no idea what will come from me taking this bold action. All I know is I must continue to step into my power, live a bold and courageous life, and trust my inner knowing to guide me to greater heights. As one door closes, another door opens

So how does one go from Stella to Starlight? 

Star light, star bright,
First star I see tonight,
I wish I may, I wish I might,
Have this wish I wish tonight.

My nieces requested that I drive them to school in my car one last time before selling her. I told them that I named my car Stella long before my 3-year-old niece Stella was born (no coincidence there...). My 5 1/2-year-old Mila asked me what the new name for Stella would be. I hadn't really thought about that; yet, she was right. Stella was getting a new home and thus should get a new name. I asked Mila what her name should be and she said, "Starlight". Which now I get is the perfect name for her. 

Now when I reflect back on Stella, I can remember all that she brought into my life and how letting her go allows for my wishes and dreams to continue to come true.